Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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