I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
