i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
