I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
