$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
