We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
