you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
