Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
