just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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