i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
