The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
