Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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