hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
her facebook's as public as her vagina
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Randomize
