we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
