hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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