i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize