In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
