She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Houston, we have a squirter
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
