Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
