My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
