It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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