a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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