I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
