Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
