He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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