Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Who wears a wallet chain?!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
