I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
