It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
