you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
