I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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