he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
