is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
