then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
