she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
