I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
