Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
