Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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