I bet he comes in French.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
