he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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