i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
