so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Walk of Shame today included voting.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
