are you still at the devil's house?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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