Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
