she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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