hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
