Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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