If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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