i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
