I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
