using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
