Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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