no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
